Avril
We were
room-mates in the Lahnhöhe Clinic near Koblenz,
2008, taking time-out to reflect on the paths our lives were taking. When I
arrived, she was hidden under a pile of bedclothes. Within a few minutes, we
were perched on our respective beds, excalaiming at the fact that we shared the
same star sign (Cancer) and were both passionate knitters. We had a great time,
with lots of laughs and funny moments. One was after we had visited a local
yarn store and sat on our beds, revelling in our purchases. The 'Chefarzt' (Big
Boss Doctor) wandered into our room by mistake, saying: "Oooh, it smells
wonderful here", at which we both inwardly chortled, because the
bran-based diet which they offered there tended to produce anything but
pleasant odours. "Would you like us to teach you how to knit?', I quipped.
"No, thanks", he replied, but sat down and made himself at home. Then
he suddenly realised what he was doing, and left. Our laughter followed him
down the corridor.
Avril and I stayed sporadically in contact during the ensuing years and it intensified in the year leading up to the discovery of my nasty tumour. We phoned every day, sometimes twice. She was the first person I phoned after my doctor called me from his cell phone to tell me he had booked a bed for me at the local hospital and that, no ... I could not postpone because I wanted to go for a long bike ride with Daggi the next day and then had translation deadlines to meet. Avril's response was: "Krankeit als Weg, Anne-Claire! Krankheit als Weg!" She was quoting the title of a fascinating book: http://www.amazon.de/Krankheit-als-Weg (Illness as a Path) which describes the psychological causes of various illnesses.
"This
is your Chance!", she cried. Her words stayed with me during the ensuing
events which overtook me. I phoned her, often, during the following
months until it got to be too much for her and she shouted at me to pull myself
together: "Anne-Claire - you ARE a strong woman! You will get through
this! I have my own shit to deal with. I can't take care of you and repeat
myself any more. Anti-depressants won't help you, being scared won't help you. YOU
and only YOU can get yourself out of this hole!
I felt
hurt, although I knew she was right. Even though she sent me a wonderful
postcard: “30 Things Which Improve Your Life. I didn't contact her
again until I was on the mend and, bless her, she was not offended by my sulk.
I spontaneously invited her to come and stay with me for week, and
here she is ... helping me to give my house and my life a thorough Feng Shui
clean out while allowing me to give her my penny's worth in return. I was
nervous about her visit because we hadn’t seen each other since the four weeks
we spent together as room-mates and things were not always harmonious between
us – but I needn’t have worried.
When I
arrived at the airport to pick her up, there was not a soul in sight. I went to
Information and asked them to page her then wandered back into the arrival
‘lounge’. A few seconds later I heard her familiar voice as she emerged from
the ‘Ladies’ Room’. “Anne-Claire!!! – I was just in the loo, touching up my
lipstick. I got to Hamburg
airport hours too early and allowed myself a massage – it was amazing!”
“Oh, thank God!”, I said. “You told me you had gained loads of weight, and
there I was, wondering how I could diplomatically tell you that you look just
fine. You look GREAT! And she did, wearing a lovely dress, in her style, with a
long knitted cardigan (not one of her own wonderful creations, but gorgeous,all
the same). The few remaining airport staff beamed at us. I almost expected them
to give us a round of applause, in true Hollywood
movie-style, but they were pretty restrained, telling them they looked forward
to seeing us again on Avril’s departure.
I can hardly
bear to think about that, but I know that true friendship disregards all
boundaries –Time, Distance, age (she is 10 years younger than me, but more
mature in many ways). This is going to be an intense and enriching week, with a
few differences in opinion along the way, but it only goes to confirm, yet
again, that every cloud has a silver lining and, what’s more, makes sense of
this whole bloody fucking awfully horrible Swings, Roundabouts, Ups and Downs
Path which I seem to have chosen for this lifetime.
Within
minutes of arriving home, she asked for a glass of champagne (correction: she
established, before she had got herself into my car, that I had a bottle of
Bubbly in the fridge) checked the whole house and gave me
tips as to how to rearrange the furniture and get rid of unnecessary stuff.
Come bedtime, she flitted (flit? flat?) here and there and gathered a bright
orange knitted blanket, a lamp, a bedside table, a candle, a lovely wooden
figure of an African woman which I had only recently bought – found a set
of badly-dyed (red-orange) curtains from my ‘Give-Away’ pile and asked if I
could please put them in the washing machine because they smelled a bit
“muffig”? Which I did and hung them out to dry the next morning.
Today,
after she had filled boxes and bags with stuff to throw out, I dragged
her to my hairdresser for
a new haircut.
She looked as though I were taking her to the guillotine. We had to wait for
the boss, Conchita Pagliarini, who also sings in two rock bands in her spare
time,
to return from her lunch-break, so we sat ourselves down on the pavement
(sidewalk) and she showed me photos of her lovely 3-year-old son. “You are the
only person around here who would sit on the pavement this with me”, I
said. “Really? … Don’t people do that here?” she asked. That, among other
things, confirmed why we are soul mates.
I'm
looking forward to the following days which await us, 'Discussions' 'n' all
and, most of all, to the collaboration of our shared passion for all things
knitted, crocheted and crafted by hand - I am also hoping that Lady Honeycourt
will grace us with her presence, talent and inspiration, thus creating a
Trimvirate which is not to be messed with!
Photos
will be posted.
